Nonfiction

Hola Papi: How to Come Out in a Walmart Parking Lot and Other Life Lessons

Hola Papi: How to Come Out in a Walmart Parking Lot and Other Life Lessons

  • Downloads：2612
  • Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
  • Create Date：2021-06-12 12:31:04
  • Update Date：2025-09-06
  • Status：finish
  • Author：John Paul Brammer
  • ISBN：1797128000
  • Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle

Reviews

Laura Dimmett ，

What a delight！ If you want a new BFF to meet for margs and chips and great conversation， reading this book will provide a similar experience。 Bremmer's work may be marketed for niche groups of Millennials， the queer community， and/or mixed Mexican Americans。 However， the honesty and humanity with which he writes will appeal to broader audiences。 He tackles some serious topics- bullying， race， class， coming out- sparked from questions submitted to his advice column， and answered with touching pe What a delight！ If you want a new BFF to meet for margs and chips and great conversation， reading this book will provide a similar experience。 Bremmer's work may be marketed for niche groups of Millennials， the queer community， and/or mixed Mexican Americans。 However， the honesty and humanity with which he writes will appeal to broader audiences。 He tackles some serious topics- bullying， race， class， coming out- sparked from questions submitted to his advice column， and answered with touching personal experiences that really do provide wisdom that comes from living。 。。。more

Becca ，

I never read memoirs， so I'm no authority， but this was a revelation。 I never read memoirs， so I'm no authority， but this was a revelation。 。。。more

Alyssa Lentz ，

As a follower of JP Brammer's writing for years， I have always been so impressed by his unique sense of humor。 His jokes always feel fresh and original but also true and familiar， like they hit on something you have always sort of known and agreed with but have just never heard it put so well before。 But what's so amazing is that he can turn around in the next line and hit you with something so empathetic and emotionally honest and true that it takes your breath away， and this book is full of bo As a follower of JP Brammer's writing for years， I have always been so impressed by his unique sense of humor。 His jokes always feel fresh and original but also true and familiar， like they hit on something you have always sort of known and agreed with but have just never heard it put so well before。 But what's so amazing is that he can turn around in the next line and hit you with something so empathetic and emotionally honest and true that it takes your breath away， and this book is full of both of those strengths。 His stories are honest and open and relatable and beautiful and warm and hilarious all at once。 I know I will continue to think about this book。 。。。more

Glenn ，

This was a really enjoyable book with a lot of good reflections and advice。

Cecilia ，

4。25/5

Erin OConnor ，

I’ve been looking forward to this book for months， so when it arrived yesterday I had the idea that I’d read it slowly over the course of days or weeks， so that I could better appreciate it。。 but it was too good！！ I couldn’t restrain myself and ended up finishing it within hours。No other writer has helped me process trauma and made laugh out loud on the same page。 JP Brammer writes with a vulnerability and grace that amazes me for someone who has been through so much。 He makes me feel less crazy I’ve been looking forward to this book for months， so when it arrived yesterday I had the idea that I’d read it slowly over the course of days or weeks， so that I could better appreciate it。。 but it was too good！！ I couldn’t restrain myself and ended up finishing it within hours。No other writer has helped me process trauma and made laugh out loud on the same page。 JP Brammer writes with a vulnerability and grace that amazes me for someone who has been through so much。 He makes me feel less crazy about trying to find some sort of meaning in life under late stage capitalism。 His advice on identity and reflecting on your own personal narrative have helped me look at my life through a lens of more compassion and forgiveness， and helped me let go of some long-held needs and beliefs that held me back from living authentically。 Buy this book and then go buy his art too！！！ 。。。more

Michael Gifford ，

This book is both moving and laugh-out-loud funny。

A ，

When I first found out that JP Beamer was releasing a book， I was extremely excited。 I’ve been following John Paul for some time now。 I discovered him at a time in my life where I needed to hear and see other Lgbtq + voices。 For years I read his advice for other people and found solace in it even if the advice didn’t reflect my own needs。 John Paul continued that same energy I felt from his advice columns into this book。 With advice columnists， they sometimes tend to give an air of superiority。 When I first found out that JP Beamer was releasing a book， I was extremely excited。 I’ve been following John Paul for some time now。 I discovered him at a time in my life where I needed to hear and see other Lgbtq + voices。 For years I read his advice for other people and found solace in it even if the advice didn’t reflect my own needs。 John Paul continued that same energy I felt from his advice columns into this book。 With advice columnists， they sometimes tend to give an air of superiority。 It’s refreshing seeing that JP doesn’t do that。 He adds a level of vulnerability and humor to every letter he responses to。 JP connects to his audience in a way that makes the reader feel like they know him personally。 I look forward to any work that JP puts out。 I’m glad I was able to be given a copy of this book。 。。。more

Eric ，

So many of these essays had me nodding as I read like I had an audience。 “How to lose a rabbit” is one of the greatest essays that I have ever read and I photographed numerous passages

Casey ，

My thanks go to Simon & Schuster and Netgalley for providing me with this advanced digital copy！ I was super excited to read this one！ I have been following John Paul Brammer on Twitter for a few years now and I absolutely adore his quick wit。 It was exciting to see how it would translate in long-form essays， and it did not disappoint！ Not only were many of the essays funny， but they were also heartfelt。 What makes a great advice columnist is the ability to turn the personal into something relat My thanks go to Simon & Schuster and Netgalley for providing me with this advanced digital copy！ I was super excited to read this one！ I have been following John Paul Brammer on Twitter for a few years now and I absolutely adore his quick wit。 It was exciting to see how it would translate in long-form essays， and it did not disappoint！ Not only were many of the essays funny， but they were also heartfelt。 What makes a great advice columnist is the ability to turn the personal into something relatable。 Brammer has that ability in spades。 He is able to articulate the emotions of his own experiences in a way that bridges the gap between his life and the lives of his readers。 He did a great job choosing stories that really hit the crux of the issue readers were asking about。 He does not shy away from dissecting his own memories， some of which are painful。 His prose is inviting and thoughtful， which lends well to some of the serious topics he discusses， such as identity， sexuality， race， mental health， and sexual assault。 Overall， I give this book 4。5/5 stars。 I highly recommend it for anyone， whether you need some advice or not。 。。。more

Tyler Atwood ，

Funny， honest， insightful: a delight to read！ Such a great voice， can’t wait to read more of Brammer’s writing。

Deedi Brown （DeediReads） ，

All my reviews live at https://deedispeaking。com/reads/。TL;DR REVIEW¡Hola Papi！ is a funny， compassionate memoir-in-essays full of personality and heart。For you if: You are looking to read a really great LGBTQ / Latinx memoir。FULL REVIEWThank you， Simon and Schuster， for sending me a review copy of ¡Hola Papi！。 I was hooked from the very first page， and I truly loved it all the way through。 （A note for the reader that the book’s title and cover art are meant to be subversions and reclamations of All my reviews live at https://deedispeaking。com/reads/。TL;DR REVIEW¡Hola Papi！ is a funny， compassionate memoir-in-essays full of personality and heart。For you if: You are looking to read a really great LGBTQ / Latinx memoir。FULL REVIEWThank you， Simon and Schuster， for sending me a review copy of ¡Hola Papi！。 I was hooked from the very first page， and I truly loved it all the way through。 （A note for the reader that the book’s title and cover art are meant to be subversions and reclamations of stereotypes， and once you read the book， they will make perfect sense。）John Paul （JP） Brammer， a Mexican-American writer who runs a beloved queer advice column also called ¡Hola Papi！， has written us a memoir-in-essays that’s as warm and compassionate as it is impactful — and funny。 Each chapter is framed as an advice-column-type response to a fictional question about race， queerness， and various aspects of identity， and each will leave you with something special。In this way， we learn about JP’s life， from his childhood in a small， rural， intensely homophobic town to learning how to live as a gay man to struggling as a queer writer in New York City。 And while every chapter feels like a hug for us as readers， he’s clearly also hugging his past self — it is truly a pleasure to witness the warmth and tenderness he feels for that past self alongside anyone else who had similar experiences。 In fact， that’s what gives this book so much magic。 He writes intimately and tenderly but also clearly and compellingly。 And again， it’s really funny。 And just so good。I loved this book so much， and I think anyone else who reads it will love it， too。CONTENT WARNINGSSuicidal thoughts; Sexual assault; Severe homophobia; Severe bullying; Anti-Latinx racism 。。。more

Evelyn ，

"The worst things that have ever happened to us don't define us。 We are the ones who get to define what those things mean。 I hope the next time you revisit the mosaic of your life， Damaged， you take the time to tilt your head。 You might find something new。"I feel like this book came into my life right when I needed it most。 JP Brammer is an incredible storyteller。 He makes me feel heartbroken and hopeful at once， offers up beautiful insight， and makes me laugh all at the same time。 I was sobbing "The worst things that have ever happened to us don't define us。 We are the ones who get to define what those things mean。 I hope the next time you revisit the mosaic of your life， Damaged， you take the time to tilt your head。 You might find something new。"I feel like this book came into my life right when I needed it most。 JP Brammer is an incredible storyteller。 He makes me feel heartbroken and hopeful at once， offers up beautiful insight， and makes me laugh all at the same time。 I was sobbing。 。。。more

Jackson Forrestall ，

I read this book in one sitting， and， as someone who rarely-if-ever does that， I can say that this has been one of my favorite modern novels that I’ve read。 Finally an author who speaks to my struggles as a gay man who grew up in the south。 This book made me laugh， shake my head in disbelief， and cry all within the same chapter。 I could not recommend it enough。 Muy bien hecho， John Paul。

Traci at The Stacks ，

I really appreciate the voice and tone in these essays。 The mix of humor， self deprecation， earnestness， and compassion makes for good advice to read。 Each chapter though is inconsistent。 Some are really emotional and powerful。 Some are flat。 The cohesion is not all there on this one， which is a bummer because I left the book loving John Paul Brammer。

Christian ，

this is quite truly one of the best things I have read。 I have always been in awe of the way JP writes and have been following his advice column since the beginning。 The backstory felt eerily familiar to my own and probably many queer people of color and it’s a story that I’ve related to the first time in my life。 Definitely took part in some of my own reflection。 Truly inspiring and perfect work。 If you are reading reviews to get a feel， just read it。 It is just a beautiful work on being you， h this is quite truly one of the best things I have read。 I have always been in awe of the way JP writes and have been following his advice column since the beginning。 The backstory felt eerily familiar to my own and probably many queer people of color and it’s a story that I’ve related to the first time in my life。 Definitely took part in some of my own reflection。 Truly inspiring and perfect work。 If you are reading reviews to get a feel， just read it。 It is just a beautiful work on being you， healing， and comedy。 。。。more

Emma Charles ，

I kind of went into this book blind！ I have never read Brammer's advice column before， but I am now a fan！ Hola Papi dives into the life of John Paul and his experiences as a gay， Mexican-American man。 Each chapter is preceded by a Hola Papi write-in question which sets up the main topic he will be writing about。 In this memoir， he touches upon issues such as race， forgiveness， sexuality， and relationship problems while sharing his own experiences with the reader。 Overall， this is a great memoir I kind of went into this book blind！ I have never read Brammer's advice column before， but I am now a fan！ Hola Papi dives into the life of John Paul and his experiences as a gay， Mexican-American man。 Each chapter is preceded by a Hola Papi write-in question which sets up the main topic he will be writing about。 In this memoir， he touches upon issues such as race， forgiveness， sexuality， and relationship problems while sharing his own experiences with the reader。 Overall， this is a great memoir and I highly recommend picking this one up once it is published！（PUB DATE: 06/08/2021）（I received a digital copy of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review。 All opinions expressed above are my own。） 。。。more

Melissa ，

Such a heart-warming collection of memoir/essay taken from Brammer's advice column as a jumping off point。 I just wanted to jump into the book and hug tween-John in the essay where he talks about the horrible bullying he experienced， particularly since it originated from a kid he admired and that admiration was twisted with cruelty。There are trigger warnings for bullying， homophobia， discussion of suicide， and racism - since Brammer is recounting these incidents that happened to him， he writes w Such a heart-warming collection of memoir/essay taken from Brammer's advice column as a jumping off point。 I just wanted to jump into the book and hug tween-John in the essay where he talks about the horrible bullying he experienced， particularly since it originated from a kid he admired and that admiration was twisted with cruelty。There are trigger warnings for bullying， homophobia， discussion of suicide， and racism - since Brammer is recounting these incidents that happened to him， he writes with incredible candor and self-awareness about how these things shaped him。 I frequently forgot that he used the advice-column format and was surprised whenever he addressed an advice-seeker。 。。。more

Athena ，

4。5/5I picked this up because I thought it would be light and funny， and while it was funny， it was more introspective than I anticipated （shame on me tbh）。 I loved this book， and I'm so glad I read it。 。。。 And now I'm going to follow the author on Twitter 4。5/5I picked this up because I thought it would be light and funny， and while it was funny， it was more introspective than I anticipated （shame on me tbh）。 I loved this book， and I'm so glad I read it。 。。。 And now I'm going to follow the author on Twitter 。。。more

Danielle ，

Brammer's memoir adopts the style of traditional advice columns， where each chapter addresses a different theme or challenge across the arc of his life。 At first， I wasn't sure how effectively this was going to work out， but it has definitely won me over by the end。 He is an excellent writer and describes his experiences with a perfect balance of bleak millennial humor， introspection， and earnestness。 If you're a queer person， you will find something in this book to relate to。 I certainly did。 Brammer's memoir adopts the style of traditional advice columns， where each chapter addresses a different theme or challenge across the arc of his life。 At first， I wasn't sure how effectively this was going to work out， but it has definitely won me over by the end。 He is an excellent writer and describes his experiences with a perfect balance of bleak millennial humor， introspection， and earnestness。 If you're a queer person， you will find something in this book to relate to。 I certainly did。 。。。more

Krysten ，

I am very， very grateful for this book that has come out while Mercury is in retrograde in Gemini （iykyk）。 I could not have loved or needed it more。 Thank you， for living through a middle school experience exactly the same yet totally different from mine。 Thank you for a version of ¡Hola Papi！ I can physically hold and look at on my bookshelf and think about。 I am going to remember how I cried， and how someone might have needed to hear me。

Joey Rajewski ，

Brammer wears his heart on his sleeve in this deeply personal memoir。 Sharing stories with humor & compassion， Brammers' insights in family， race， sex， and fetish are unique & relatable to each of us。 Thanks to Libro。fm for the free audio。 A great listen/read during pride month。 Brammer wears his heart on his sleeve in this deeply personal memoir。 Sharing stories with humor & compassion， Brammers' insights in family， race， sex， and fetish are unique & relatable to each of us。 Thanks to Libro。fm for the free audio。 A great listen/read during pride month。 。。。more

Megan ，

Brammer was given a racial moniker "Papi" by men on dating apps， eventually he turned this into the title for his popular advice column， "Hola Papi。" Now his advice column has been woven into a advice book。 Brammer who grew up in a small town in Oklahoma as a mixed race gay teen struggled with bullies and depression。 His advice woven through out this book is so poignant and relevant to everyday lives。Brammer's writing is easy and fun to read。 He details stories about his personal life that have Brammer was given a racial moniker "Papi" by men on dating apps， eventually he turned this into the title for his popular advice column， "Hola Papi。" Now his advice column has been woven into a advice book。 Brammer who grew up in a small town in Oklahoma as a mixed race gay teen struggled with bullies and depression。 His advice woven through out this book is so poignant and relevant to everyday lives。Brammer's writing is easy and fun to read。 He details stories about his personal life that have had lasting impacts on his adulthood。 His advice applied to things that have impacted me and certainly can be applied to anyone's struggles。 He talks about mental health， coming out to his boyfriend， bullies， falling in and out of love， and finding one's identity。 This book certainly wasn't written for me， but I definitely think anyone can find help by reading this book。 I often struggle with self-help books because I feel like their screaming at me to be different。 But with advice books， authors relate their own struggles/stories and how they got through it or didn't。 Humans relating to humans， it's really helpful。 So if you're afraid of self-help books I would still gives this book a try because if anything else you'll get a little chuckle out of Brammer's stories。 Thank you to NetGalley and Simon and Schuster for providing me with an eARC of this book in exchange for an honest review！ 。。。more

Vanessa ，

This was solidly ok。 It is basically a memoir written by an advice column writer， whose audience （I believe） is predominantly gay males。 He honestly just seemed like just about every guy I know and like in my own life， which is good， but at the same time there wasn't really anything Earth shattering about this。 I do really love the cover。I received an ARC from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review。 This was solidly ok。 It is basically a memoir written by an advice column writer， whose audience （I believe） is predominantly gay males。 He honestly just seemed like just about every guy I know and like in my own life， which is good， but at the same time there wasn't really anything Earth shattering about this。 I do really love the cover。I received an ARC from the publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review。 。。。more

Vangosh ，

First I would like to say that I ADORE the format of Hola Papi！: How to Come out in a Walmart Parking Lot and Other Life Lessons。 It was very clever placing the reader questions at the beginning and the way he addresses the reader （us！） through each chapter feels like a conversation between two friends。 He invites you in and converses the topic through his story to a possible conclusion。 Not every question was meant for me but the over-reaching themes can apply to everyone。 I was able to find a First I would like to say that I ADORE the format of Hola Papi！: How to Come out in a Walmart Parking Lot and Other Life Lessons。 It was very clever placing the reader questions at the beginning and the way he addresses the reader （us！） through each chapter feels like a conversation between two friends。 He invites you in and converses the topic through his story to a possible conclusion。 Not every question was meant for me but the over-reaching themes can apply to everyone。 I was able to find a nugget from each chapter that I could relate to my life。 Something to keep in mind is that Hola Papi！ tackles a lot of difficult subjects （including bullying and suicidal intentions） but John Paul’s humor doesn’t let you get bogged down for too long。 I was captivated by his stories and left feeling hopeful。 Hola Papi！ was so easy to read that it took no time at all to finish it。 I felt like the book could be infinitely longer （and I wish it was！）。 John Paul has a beautiful way of telling a story and his stories are deceptively thought provoking！ I haven’t had a book challenge me in a long time。 I have a feeling that I will be thinking about this book and picking it up to reread different chapters or the whole book often！ This was a great book to kick off pride month！Thank you to Net Galley and the publisher for an arc of this book！ 。。。more

Ingrid ，

I was not familiar with John Paul Brammer's previous work but so glad I am now - funny， touching， vibrant， wise。 I found myself laughing one minute， then tearing up and highlighting a quote to write in my journal （cheesy but true）。 Who， in the last year hasn't questioned their identity， relationships， or spent a little bit too much time with their less than pleasant thoughts and memories？ Brammer's memoire/advice/essays hit home for me， often smoothly making the swing from the mundane and often I was not familiar with John Paul Brammer's previous work but so glad I am now - funny， touching， vibrant， wise。 I found myself laughing one minute， then tearing up and highlighting a quote to write in my journal （cheesy but true）。 Who， in the last year hasn't questioned their identity， relationships， or spent a little bit too much time with their less than pleasant thoughts and memories？ Brammer's memoire/advice/essays hit home for me， often smoothly making the swing from the mundane and often embarrassing details of growing up， dating， and working to insightful life lessons and food for thought。 I also think Brammer deftly handles a few topics that are often discussed in the media in a less-than-perfect way， often by engaging with the different aspects of what it means to hold authority through in his work as an advice columnist。 A highly recommended read， not just for Pride month but for any time。 If I have any complaints it that I wish there were a little more of it。 If you， like me， were a If fan of the "Dear Sugars" podcast and are sorely missing it， you will love Hola Papi - very similar vibes。 。。。more

Heather K （dentist in my spare time） ，

As someone who has never read John Paul Brammer's advice column， I was pleasantly surprised by Hola Papi: How to Come Out in a Walmart Parking Lot and Other Life Lessons。 It was heartfelt， funny， introspective， and well-written， and though I would have loved a more linear format of storytelling， I really enjoyed the book。 Hola Papi: How to Come Out in a Walmart Parking Lot and Other Life Lessons is a collection of John Paul Brammer's selected advice columns the speak on cultural and racial ident As someone who has never read John Paul Brammer's advice column， I was pleasantly surprised by Hola Papi: How to Come Out in a Walmart Parking Lot and Other Life Lessons。 It was heartfelt， funny， introspective， and well-written， and though I would have loved a more linear format of storytelling， I really enjoyed the book。 Hola Papi: How to Come Out in a Walmart Parking Lot and Other Life Lessons is a collection of John Paul Brammer's selected advice columns the speak on cultural and racial identity， being queer and smart in an intolerant， rural town， and the pain of love and loss。 I could relate， personally， to very few of those elements on a superficial basis， but I felt his words profoundly and I think the book will connect particularly well with queer millennial-aged readers。 Parts of this book are funny and light， and parts of the story make you ache in a bone-deep way。 I wanted to reach back in time to hug John Paul Brammer numerous times。 Some of the essays made me want more of a conclusion to a particular story， but I was very pleased with what I got。 John Paul Brammer is a talented writer， and Hola Papi: How to Come Out in a Walmart Parking Lot and Other Life Lessons is a great read for those who want a well-rounded collection of personally essays and stories。 *Copy provided in exchange for an honest review*goodreads|instagram|twitter|blog 。。。more

emmy ; ，

**an arc was provided by Simon and Schuster via NetGalleyI had been following Brammer on Twitter for a while when I learned he would be publishing a book。 It was mid-March， and I don't know how I had missed all his previous posts announcing this， but I finally became away of this book's existence。 I knew he had an advice column， the inspiration for the format of this book， but I'd never perused the pieces。 I was enamored enough with his tweeting style to know I needed to read this because I knew **an arc was provided by Simon and Schuster via NetGalleyI had been following Brammer on Twitter for a while when I learned he would be publishing a book。 It was mid-March， and I don't know how I had missed all his previous posts announcing this， but I finally became away of this book's existence。 I knew he had an advice column， the inspiration for the format of this book， but I'd never perused the pieces。 I was enamored enough with his tweeting style to know I needed to read this because I knew already that I would love it。And I was so very right。As a whole， this book is delightful。 In parts， it is also equally delightful。 I can easily imagine a future version of me with a physical copy， sitting down and reading one chapter at a time。 Some of the chapters were similar （which is why they're in a collection together）， which lent to taking breaks between reading。 If I were to read it all in one sitting， I perhaps would have gotten bored （I doubt it， because the prose is simply that entertaining）。 It's like a mixed bag of treats that you get to sit down and enjoy， with some sweeter than others and some small enough you encourage yourself to have just one more。Looking at the advice column after reading this book， it's easy to see how it was pared down to better match the format of a collection of essays。 The advice column features long letters from readers， while the book itself opens each 'chapter' with a short and sweet sentence with the same idea behind it: a question seeking advice， just with slightly less backstory。 Some chapters felt long， some were long but felt short， and some were simply short， but they all did what they needed to do: share an anecdote to answer the opening question， and they all did it beautifully。Despite not being "a Twitter-addled gay Mexican with anxiety" （taken from the bolded opening of Brammer's posts on his Substack blog/newsletter）， I still found this book to be relatable in numerous。 Personally， I connect most whenever he delved into his anxieties about being a writer for a living。 As much as I related to the worry of not being， I found hope in that I was reading something this person—so full of worries—was getting published。 It was like a silhouette of my future had become tangible and handheld。 Even still， this collection of essays helped me in ways I didn't anticipate。 It inspired me to keep writing， inspired me to write more personal things about myself， inspired me to reflect and consider things in ways I hadn't previously。I would recommend this book to anyone: those already a fan of Brammer's work， those who like to read nonfiction essays， those looking for a book in a genre they may not normally read。 Excited for this book to be published！ 。。。more

Ignacio Torres ，

"Love is nothing without fiction。 It's a story， and like any story it can be told well or told poorly。。。 I was in love once。 I was happy to be in love。 I was sad for a while when I wasn't。 I'm glad it happened， and that it's over。 I do hope it happens again。"Need I say more？ "Love is nothing without fiction。 It's a story， and like any story it can be told well or told poorly。。。 I was in love once。 I was happy to be in love。 I was sad for a while when I wasn't。 I'm glad it happened， and that it's over。 I do hope it happens again。"Need I say more？ 。。。more

Carla （literary。infatuation） ，

I devoured this book， I couldn’t put it down but I didn’t want it to end。 Brammer is not only a great charming writer， but he comes across as funny， vulnerable， open and so real and what else can you ask for in a memoir？